Allow me to break whatever the blog equivalent is of the fourth wall is (which barely even applies because I am transitioning from a discussion that does not involve myself to one that tells a personal narrative) as I tell a story about my experience.
One of the more difficult conflicts I experienced this past summer dealt with my personal connection to the New York Yankees as they rose to prominence with unsportsmanlike conduct being used as a bonding catalyst. Whether it was Aaron Boone's "Savages In The Box" tirade or Brett Gardner's violent attack on the dugout with his bat, the team and the fans rallied around these drive success in the old "us against the world" last stand that tends to be high-risk-high-reward.
Before September even arrived, I found myself heartbroken that my Yankees would act in such a way. I felt like the Yankees didn't care about me, a diehard fan, because this new methodology created a stronger bond among the players and the larger fan base. However, I had the ability to take a brief step back and examine the oddity of why I would feel such grief over this.
This grief seemed unfounded. Nobody died. Nobody broke up with me. However, a personal relationship significantly changed, and that's where I discovered the heart of the problem.
As fans, we form a bond with our teams and our athletes to the point where we project ourselves onto them. We identify with them. We consider ourselves part of the team. We even put ourselves in the shoes of our favorite athletes much like how we put ourselves in the shoes of our favorite superheroes. It's the adult equivalent to when we would pretend to be our favorite athlete in the backyard and play through scenarios of hitting the walk-off home run in Game 7 of the World Series.
So when the Yankees began to act this way, I was heartbroken because I saw myself as part of the team that was doing this. I felt like I was being personally attacked and offended by the people I loved (where I felt I belonged). In the fantasy world of my mind, I saw myself as yet another person in that clubhouse who put on the pinstripes each day. And now I felt like the ostracized member of the team that refused to bond, making me the outcast in the clubhouse, probably soon to be cut, traded, or just let go.
As an aside, keep in mind that the primitive mindset of the athletic culture maintains this type of idiotic bonding as a staple, even when the rest of the culture is adapting to the pampering of spoiled athletes and a more modern approach that differs from how things were in the past 50-plus years. Frankly, none of these methods, whether primitive or modern, are 100% right and have significant flaws that were never reconciled. So if a player didn't go along with whatever was happening in the clubhouse, that player was (and still can be) demoralized and outcast like a high school clique.
Regardless, what we can control is how we, the individual fans, can handle this feeling of dissatisfaction. Unfortunately, it requires us to grow up a little, which is difficult. But with a short term pain comes a long term gain.
The objective is to disassociate ourselves with our favorite teams. In turn, this may allow us to disassociate with those who do not share our opinion, much like how players and coaches have to disassociate with a call that goes against them from an umpire (as discussed last month). We can still be a fan of the team and enjoy watching or following the team, but we can do it in a way that says we are more than just a fan.
There is actually an element of empowering to this. When we identify with a team to the point of being so invested that this disappointment can occur, we limit ourselves into realizing our full potential. Each of us, as individuals, are more than just a part of a fan base. We are beautiful beings with value that goes beyond fandom and identification. This is the same psychological limiting that occurs when we identify with an organization such as a fraternity/sorority to the point of a volunteer affiliation with no tangible benefit other than just "being a part of something."
You have the ability to see yourself as more than just a blind fan. You have the ability to proclaim that you are a dissenting fan who roots for a team without endorsing a behavior. It's quite similar to the method that should be used more in politics, where you can have the opinions that align with a particular ideology without necessarily endorsing a candidate, legislation, or decisions. You don't have to be grouped into the whole.
You are beautiful.