We recently talked about asking parents to chill out when it comes to their behavior at sporting events.  Let's pull the lens back and look at it a bit more.

Ed Clendaniel penned an op-ed for the Bay Area News Group during the Stanley Cup Playoffs this year about his new goal of not yelling at officials.  He cited a few specific incidents and statistics that help support his new goal, noting a call in four different sporting events over four days that went against the home team in each game.

But the best part is where he started asking the questions we at OSIP have been asking for some time:  does yelling at officials actually provide you (or your team) with an advantage?  And the answer is a resounding no.

An interview with Jim Thompson, founder of the Positive Coaching Alliance, sums it up nicely.  The culture starts with the coaches and has to be set that way (specifically at the younger, more impressionable levels).  Thompson points out a very important note:  he guarantees there is going to be a bad call during the game that affects his team, but if the goal is to honor the game, then the responsibility of all participants (players, coaches, fans, etc.) is to be absolutely quiet and let the head coach handle it in a way that respects the game.

Thompson's Positive Coaching Alliance took it even further in a separate article.  An interview with former minor league ballplayer Jake Wald shows Wald, after joining PCA, promoting the notion that the relationship players have with officials as absolutely critical.  Respectful questions that take an interest in how officials work and show an understanding for the hard work they do is not just acceptable, but welcome!

Speaking as an official and ballplayer myself, I couldn't agree more.  Talk to me.  Work with me.

The National Federation of High Schools (NFHS) is the group that oversees high school athletics in the United States.  One of its biggest issues is the shortage of officials that is plaguing the nation.

Thankfully, NFHS Executive Director Karissa Niehoff sent a blunt message back in January in an editorial titled "Dear Mom and Dad, Cool it."

The numbers are stark.  According to the National Association of Sports Officials (NASO), more than 75% of all high school officials quit due to adult behavior, and 80% of new officials step away after only two years of officiating.

The NFHS has recognized that these sportsmanship issues are growing because the poor behavior is not being controlled.  Verbal and physical abuse is on the rise, so the NFHS hopes to be very direct with their approach.

The question that arises, though, is one of culture.  Is it simply our culture that breeds this type of behavior?  And if so, why?  Are people, specifically coaches and parents, so blind to the fact that losing these officials will ultimately undermine the entire operation to the point of eventually not having high school sports?

One thought offered by Niehoff deals with the administrators taking an active role in this effort.  Athletic Directors may need to divorce themselves from their association with their school and fandom and look to provide a good experience for all, regardless of affiliation.  That means providing extra care for officials, policing fans, and speaking out against media berating.  After all, many state associations overseeing high school athletics prohibit administrators from criticizing officials; do those need penalties need to be amplified?

All in all, the story is summed up properly in this quote from Mark Uyl in the article:  find "one other endeavor in American society where we accept and tolerate one adult treating another adult the way that we allow spectators and coaches to treat an official."

Let me know when you find one that doesn't require a police escort.

A recent Q&A about cycling discussed the issue of "purposefully stalling," which is a specific tactic used to force other riders to slow down and prevent them from advancing.  In short, it's not illegal by the letter of the law, but it goes against every bit of common sense and the spirit of the sport.  Think of it in the same boat as not "calling off the dogs" when the score of a baseball game gets out of hand.

It appeared that the best answer to the question of how to handle it is to simply look inside oneself and ask if it's something you might do.  It's not really very easy to stop (no pun intended) others from doing.  Perhaps it is more about hoping that karma simply catches up with those who think this behavior is acceptable to win.  Sometimes, we have look deep inside ourselves and know that we play the game the right way.  We have to rely on our inner peace and not our competitive juices to control us.  When we do that, the truth usually shines.

Of course, if you can, sometimes the best revenge is to just keep your mouth shut and get the victory yourself...legally and with class.

We hear it all the time, whether it is in the media, from fans, or even coaches and parents yelling it at officials:  one controversial call, and that official blew the game for a team.

News flash:  that's false.

It's easy to pinpoint one call in a game that is the turning point and can decide the outcome of a contest.  But when we do that, we are no longer admiring the proverbial forest for the trees.  We delineate an entire competition down to one moment, which makes for fantastic drama, but seldom represents reality.  (In fact, maybe Hollywood could learn another lesson on how to not poison us moving forward...)

Anytime there is a close call in the later stages of a game, an official has to make a split second decision, which will usually please half of the people present and upset the other half.  It's not a situation that is enviable by most, including the official.  After all, it's not like the official could have avoided trouble if he or she had made the opposite call:  the roles would just be reversed with the upset half now happy and the happy half now upset.

But what happens when replays show us a blown call that can't be changed?  Or what happens when a coach or parent (or even player) sees it one way and the official sees it differently?  The common conclusion is that the official was clearly wrong and is the sole culprit for the outcome of the contest.  However, the truth is the exact opposite.

During the course of any sporting event, a multitude of action will occur that can alter the balance of power defined as who is "winning."  Baseball changes with each pitch.  Football changes with each play from scrimmage.  Tennis changes with each serve.  The list goes on.  Seldom does anyone realize that every single one of these actions can affect the course of a game an equal or greater amount than the call of one official at a moment that is slightly highlighted.  In short, every time a coach tells me the one call I made cost his team the game, I remind myself that the team had ample opportunities to prevent me from even having to make that call.  Although I take responsibility for the call, I'm not the reason that team lost.

Further, there's an even greater notion at stake that people fail to recall in these situations:  great teams overcome bad calls.

The teams that win are the ones that don't stop to argue about the bad calls.  The teams that win are the ones that shrug them off and overcome them to the point where the bad call didn't matter.

When a marathon runner trips during the marathon, does he or she stop to examine the spot where he or she fell?  Does the runner complain to anyone and everyone about how it is the fault of the ground for causing the runner to lose time?  No!  The runner gets up and hurries along to make up for the lost time!

The same goes for great teams and great athletes.

Have you ever stopped to think about whether professional athletes are actually friends?

On one hand, as we have always stated, it would behoove athletes in the same sport to recognize that they are all on the same team when it comes to being in the same union.  There is no reason to fight with members of other teams within the same sport for that reason alone, let alone that it is just plain wrong.  After all, they all want the same thing:  a fair wage to play a game for a living.

But on the other hand, think about how players on the same team have to compete with not only the players in the other dugout or on the other sideline, but on their own team as well.  If a player isn't performing well, he will usually be replaced by another player.  It becomes a competition within the same team to make sure that playing time is earned so as to avoid the "business" of sports where a slumping athlete will be benched for someone who might produce.

A similar comparison might be two actors who are both auditioning for the same part.  Or even just two professionals both trying to get the same job.  Colleagues under the same heading (and perhaps in the same union) must now fight for work just to be on the proverbial playing field where the actual work might happen!

The common response to this is that "it's a business."  The business is to produce the best possible product so that the bottom line continues to grow.  Success is defined by the income brought in, not the quality of the work.

It's not something that is changed easily (or even needs to necessarily be changed).  But it does deserve a second thought when it comes to trying to empathize with others.  Perhaps some of the lessons learned in this conundrum can be extrapolated into our lives.

As we return to the book "No Contest" by Alfie Kohn, an interesting thesis is presented.  We discuss competition as it relates to sports.  We've even examined it at the workplace.  But what happens when it comes home?

A quote from Walter Weisskopf cited by Kohn notes that competitors eventually sprout in the forms of "sex partners, siblings, neighbors, and peers of his group."  It's no wonder that a slang term for bedding a lover is "scoring!"

But think back to elementary days when emotions and attractions were not what drove someone towards a partner, but rather the competition to call him or her "yours" and parade him or her around like an object to be shown off.

Think of even more complex questions that could develop later into relationships as adulthood presses on.  Perhaps partners wonder who has the bigger paycheck, the most friends, or the sharper wit, to quote Kohn.

What happens when a child is born?  Could there be a competition as to which parent will be preferred by the child?  Could multiple children signal a competition for who is Mommy's or Daddy's favorite?  Do parents begin to compete with other parents as they socialize, wondering whose infant walked or talked first?  Does it continue as it is compared as to whose teenager got into the better college?

As you can see from these suppositions, anxiety is probably knocking at the door!

The point here, though, is that a conscious awareness that we have the potential to bring this type of setting home with us may just diffuse it and prevent it from even happening.  We are practicing good sportsmanship when we realize that none of these things should be a competition!  There is no ultimate prize in winning any of these games!  A perceived status or quick and short-lived gratification do not feed the ultimate desires of being human.

Instead of feeding this beast, work to celebrate each individual accomplishment for what it is:  individual.  It's not a game when it comes to this stuff.

During Week 4 of the 2018 NFL season, Seattle Seahawks safety Earl Thomas suffered a broken leg on the play that ended his season.  As he was being carted off the field, he gave the middle finger...to his own bench.

Read that again.

Why would a player do that?

Simple:  money.

You see, Thomas was holding out for a better contract prior to the start of the season and didn't get it.  Therefore, when his season was cut short due to this injury, he no longer had any leverage in trying to earn additional money.  Further, who knows if his career has taken a hit based on the nature of the injury?  Some teams may not want to shell out money for his contract knowing he suffered such an injury.

The "hold out" for better contracts in the NFL is an interesting topic because it doesn't happen in certain other sports for a variety of reasons.  In fact, it doesn't happen much else in life.  If you sign a contract, you are obligated to fulfill your responsibilities assigned with that contract unless the other party or parties breach or violate the contract.  Just ask any judge.

But in the NFL, there are some factors that make you begin to understand why players might hold out.

First, take a look at the career length of football players.  It's very short.  The physical nature of the sport does not bode well for people to wish to last long in the league.  You're more likely to end your career due to an injury than to choose when it's time to retire.

Now, here's the big one.  Unlike other sports, the money owed to NFL players is not guaranteed unless it specifically says so in the contract.  So if you are cut from a team, the money stops.  That's not how it works in a sport such as Major League Baseball:  if a team releases you, they are obligated to pay you the remainder of the contract (with the possibility of a slight reduction in cost if another team signs you).

Therefore, NFL players hold out for better contracts in order to help guarantee that they will be financially secure if something happens to them physically and cannot work.  Think of it as a form of insurance.

None of this excuses Thomas.  His gesture, although understood, was probably not the best idea.  And perhaps he should have taken the smart route and continued to hold out.  But it focuses a light on something else:  the system that governs the payroll structure of football players contains a flaw based on the ability to hold out, and it has consequences on multiple sides.

Imagine if your NFL team went from being a playoff contender to a hopeless pretender because your best player decides he wants more money.  Would you immediately blame him?

The point here is that there is no clear cut answer.  There are no heroes.  This is more about debunking certain myths and asking people to take a step back and consider the bigger picture, which is one of the staples at understanding sportsmanship.

Have you ever had a bad day?  Have you ever had a bad day at work (or, if you're young, at school)?

If the answer is anything other than a resounding "yes," stop reading now because you do not exist.

Now, you may go to an office for your job.  If you don't go to an office, you probably go to some "place" to do a job.  (Even someone self-employed has to go somewhere, even in the house, to do their job.)  Do you know where people involved with sports go when they go to the office?

It may be described in a number of ways:  the field, the stadium, the park, etc.  It all means the same thing.  But if you're a professional athlete or official, your office is literally the playing field.

So if a star athlete has a poor performance, is it not fair to say he or she had a bad day at the office?  Does that give others the right to boo that athlete and make sure he or she knows that fans disapprove of their performance?

Let's put it another way:  if you're having a bad day at the office, how would you feel if people who didn't work at your office came into your office and just verbally abused you over the job you were doing?

If the answer is anything other than a resounding "bad," stop reading now because you do not exist.

The next time you're not happy with a player or an official at any level in any capacity, keep one thing in mind:  that person is trying very hard to do their best.  Your negative critique isn't helping and serves no purpose.

This past MLB season saw something happen that not many people noticed:

The World Umpire Association (WUA), which is union that represents MLB umps, rebranded as the Major League Baseball Umpires Association (MLBUA), and became the fifth of the "big five" professional team sports to have a major online presence through websites and social media.

MLB umpires join officials from the NBA, NFL, NHL, and MLS as becoming more transparent to the public.  Granted, the public will probably go the way of abusing this privilege (see the #RefWatchParty that occurred during the NBA Finals), but the intent to keep the conversation open and ongoing is a fantastic thing.

The union has actually been very active on Twitter (@MLBUA), showcasing good calls by umpires in an attempt to educate the general public on how they work.  Possibly the best part of this work, however, is even more highlights for the UMPS CARE charity.

Officials in these major sports take unfortunate abuse from the uneducated public.  Players, coaches, and the media have a tendency to speak and act in ways that do not represent the educated point of view of the official.  These actions speak to a psychological issue of scapegoating, leaving the officials as the common enemy among rivals.

The officials are tired of being treated as sub-humans.  These platforms will allow their voices to be heard.  The public would be smart to recognize this and know they are proud to uphold the integrity of the game and do their job.

On August 31, 2018, a feat occurred in a baseball game between the Yankees and Tigers that doesn't happen too often:  both managers were ejected.

Aaron Boone (Yankees) was ejected by Home Plate Umpire Nic Lentz for arguing balls and strikes.  Ron Gardenhire (Tigers) was ejected by First Base Umpire Paul Nauert for arguing a check swing no-call.  Both cases contained an element of absurdity that further proves that the theater of baseball disqualifications regarding managers is not only a joke to the game, but also an abhorrent way to influence others who witness it.

Boone took exception with the strike zone of Lentz to the point where he made contact with the umpire and put on a demonstration in a catcher's crouch that did nothing more than delay the game and solidify his ignorance towards the arbiters of the game.  What Boone probably didn't know is that, according to the official plot of the zone after the game by Brooks Baseball Pitch f/x tool, Lentz really only missed two pitches the entire game.

Further, Boone was clearly upset at his team's lack of offense and used the ejection as a way to "fire up" his team.  This translates to the idea of yelling vociferously at an innocent umpire to vent your frustrations over your own team's inability to hit with the hope that your players decide to change their ways somehow.

The fact of the matter is that these arguments are rarely filled with the tirade we think they are.  Usually, the manager is yelling about how bad his team is, leaving the umpire the unfortunate target of hate where the fans usually pile on him as the bad guy for tossing the manager (assuming it's the home team).  In fact, even if the manager is yelling about his displeasure with an umpire, the confrontation has the ability to make even a professional umpire begin to question his calls, resulting in more displeasure.

On the flip side, Gardenhire was ejected when Nauert ruled that Yankees hitter Luke Voit did not swing at a pitch.  It was a close pitch and a tough call to make in real time, but the replay seemed to make me think the call was incorrect:  Voit did offer at the pitch.  Gardenhire's argument resulted in ridiculous accusations that Nauert could obviously see through, but it wasn't until the argument finished that it was clear it was a joke of an argument.

As soon as Gardenhire turned around to walk back to the clubhouse, he looked right at Voit who was standing on first base (the no-call resulted in a walk) and asked him, "Did you swing?" as he walked by, followed by a smirk .

Even Gardenhire knew this was a joke.

A few days later, Boone was hit with a one-game suspension for making contact with Lentz during the confrontation.  To quote Boone:

"I was arguing, I got kicked out of the game, I reacted how I reacted.  Unfortunately, I got a little too close, and I do regret that.  I always want to be in control of my emotions, to a degree.  But sometimes you also have to state your claim and defend certain things that are important.  I definitely shouldn't have nicked his cap."

In this brief statement, we got a cop-out about responsibility for one's actions and emotions as well as evidence of misplaced priorities.  No mention of an apology...no mention that Lentz actually was doing a good job...just a lame way of getting around talking about something where Boone was at fault.

Sorry, Aaron.  Cancer is important.  Poverty is important.  Borderline pitches are not.