We've all been there.  We've all reacted the same way.  And that's perfectly okay.

I'm talking about when you become a bench player...a reserve player...a role player...a member of the ensemble cast/chorus...

Okay, you get the point.  But one of the toughest things with which we each must deal at some point in our lives is playing a part of the supporting cast in some operation, especially when we feel we have the talent to be the lead.

In sports, it happens all too frequently.  You can only have so many starting players, so a platoon of reserves are kept on the sidelines in case of injury or a specific circumstance that requires a different player.

But it can happen in many other areas of life, too.  Perhaps you were picked to play 3rd trumpet instead of 1st.  Maybe you were cast as a supporting character with few lines in the play.  Or maybe you were just glanced over for that promotion you deserved at your company.

If you heard our earlier episode on our podcast "How You Play The Game," you know exactly what I mean.

The first thing to note in these situations is that it is completely natural to feel all the emotions associated with loss.  If you're disappointed, angry, frustrated, or feeling any sort of grief, don't fight it!  When you suppress those emotions, they come back later in an even bigger (and more detrimental) way.

(Side note:  if you know someone who is going through this, sympathy and empathy are key.  Don't try to offer an explanation.  Just be there for your grieving friend.)

The next thing to examine (when you're ready) is how you can still play an important part in your team's success.  You may have to "mute" the micro to look at the macro, i.e. put your current feelings on hold to look at the big picture.  Sometimes, you have to suffer through something unfair to be rewarded later.

The final thing to remember is that all of these situations have open endings.  There's no magic word to solve them.  They can go in any direction, and you have to be ready for the challenges that lie ahead.  Maybe the starting quarterback gets injured in the first game and it's up to you to carry the team for the rest of the year.  Maybe the lead in the play becomes sick and you have to step in.

If you can, try to remember that all of these experiences can teach us the greater lesson of how a team succeeds together.  The last guy to make the team can play an equal part in the team's success with encouragement, assistance, and some truncated playing time.  Just because you're a small cog in the machine doesn't mean you don't help the machine work.

If you get a chance, check out the web page of Janis Meredith at www.jbmthinks.com; she writes a sports blog for parents, and the content is quite applicable to the message we try to portray in our mission.

Meredith wrote an article last year about how to tell if you're taking youth sports too seriously.  Her checklist included 13 great points:

1. You're deeply concerned about your child’s playing time.
2. You insist that he or she absolutely must play a certain position.
3. You feel the need to constantly push your child to practice and try harder.
4. You feel terribly guilty if you have to miss one game.
5. You feel it’s your job to confront the coach on behalf of your child about playing time or position issues.
6. You'll pay whatever it takes for your child to be on the best teams, have the best private coaches, and go to the best camps, even if you really can’t afford it.
7. You coach your child in the car on the way to the game.
8. You coach your child during the game from the sidelines.
9. You critique your child in the car after the game on the way home.
10. You worry a lot about your child’s performance and get so nervous that you can’t enjoy the experience.
11. You yell at the coach or officials during the game because you don’t agree with their calls.
12. You're constantly bragging to family and friends about what a stud/studette your child is.
13. You get angry at your child for making a mistake in the game.
    

Consider these points seriously, and if any apply to you, don't be ashamed that you fell into the trap!  Use positive energy to determine to escape these traits, rather than look back and examine your mistake.

The worst thing you can do is be in denial that any of these apply to you, and unfortunately, that's what happens more often than not.  The people who need these words of wisdom (whether they be from Janis or from OSIP) are the ones who will never listen.  It's an unfortunate paradox, but rather than focus on the bad, let's empower the good.

Thanks, Janis!

When discussing youth sports, specifically the Little League World Series, I've gone on record with my hesitations to endorse such events at their high levels.  No matter how we slice it, the particular discussions to be had in this area of youth sports are plenty.

So for a moment, let's put some of it aside and just recognize a good moment...

During the 2017 Little League World Series, Venezuela walked off on the Dominican Republic, causing the losing pitcher to break down in tears.  So what did Venezuela do when they realized what was happening?  They rushed to the crying pitcher (from the opposing team) to comfort him.

That's right:  a team of 12-year-olds realized it was more important to hug it out with a crying pitcher than to celebrate their victory.

Look, we can dissect this a million ways from yesterday.  There may be some people making the argument that breaking down into tears after giving up a winning hit seems like an overreaction.  I'm not about to begin to make assumptions about the backgrounds of these kids that might shed light onto those suggestions.  Let's just take this for face value.  After all, these are kids.  And we all know that kids can be quite unpredictable.

It was a nice moment captured during the tournament, and we can only hope that others see it and learn by example.

Back in May/June in the state of Texas, a youth coach was fired for being caught on video instructing his kids to intentionally hit the umpire with a pitch.

It gets worse...

This coach had already been banned and shouldn't have even been near these kids or this field.

Jeremy Knox is the coach in question.  He has a history that mirrors these types of incidents.  In fact, according to his LinkedIn profile, he worked as a scout for the San Diego Padres at one point.  I can only imagine they fired him when they realized who he was or what he was doing.

The articles that discuss this incident do enough of a job shaming Knox and calling him out for such behavior, so to dig deep into the obvious poor sportsmanship is almost redundant.  But there is one thing we should examine.

How did this get out?

Interestingly enough, a player on Knox's team caught the whole conversation where Knox told his kids to hit the umpire on his cell phone, and the kid proceeded to post it to Snapchat so the coach of the opposing team could see it.  He even included a note to the coach to explain what he was watching and hearing.  The coach then posted it to Facebook to make sure it got out.

Kudos to the kid for getting the word out.  That kid is wise beyond his years.  He deserves a medal.

In my opinion, it's pretty annoying when players, fans, and anyone else have to say or do something to "psyche" themselves up for what might be considered a big game.  What's worse is when it backfires.

At the beginning of May, the Texas Rangers and Houston Astros met for the first time in the baseball season.  The Rangers and Astros are both inter-state and inter-division rivals, playing in the American League West.  So there is already a bit of juice to the series.

So why did Astros third baseman Alex Bregman decide to fire off a Tweet to fire people up and tick off the Rangers?  Your guess is as good as mine.

Bregman has been in the big leagues for all of five minutes.  He played for Team USA in the World Baseball Classic, only to ride the bench in favor of other established stars.  He is certainly not the established leader of the team.  When he Tweeted an obscene (but coded) battle cry to intimidate and beat Texas, the Rangers decided to print copies of it and put them up all over their clubhouse as motivation.

So what did Texas do?  Pitcher Andrew Cashner hit two batters, including Jose Altuve to start off the bottom of the first inning.  So Houston's pitcher, Lance McCullers, then threw behind the back of the Rangers' Mike Napoli.  That's when the benches cleared and everyone congregated in a pushing and shoving match.

These attempts to "fire up your squad" are nothing more than pep rallies, which are pointless from the get-go; if you need to motivate people with some "pep," rather than assume they will find the motivation themselves, then there is a bigger concern at hand.

Is it done to try to scare or intimidate the opponent?  Do you honestly think that this type of behavior will psychologically affect other competitors?

But consider the outcomes of these attempts to intimidate opponents as if they were categorized like Descartes' Wager:

-If your opponent cowers in fear from the intimidation attempts and you beat them, did you really beat them fair and square?  Did you really need to give your all to win over a compromised opponent?  It doesn't seem very satisfying.

-If your opponent cowers in fear but still beats you, then you look like an idiot.

-If your opponent gets angry and fights harder but you win, why did you make it harder on yourself?  I'm sure it's nice to be able to achieve victory by raising your game to immense levels, but was it worth the risk?

-If your opponent gets angry and fights harder and beats you, then you look like an idiot.

There's really no victory worthy of trying to intimidate your opponent.  The cost/benefit ratio is absurd.  Your best bet is to keep your mouth shut and just go do your job.

But the worst part of all this is not that it happened between the Astros and Rangers.  Rather, the problem is that this type of behavior is practiced with our youth as described in pep rallies and other types of scenarios.  Rivalries between high schools and colleges do nothing more than endanger our impressionable youth by exposing them to practices and traditions that do nothing more than cause detriment rather than teach good sportsmanship and morals and focus on the good experience of the game instead of the need to win.

Remind your young ones that it's about the good experience of playing the game, not about demeaning or defeating someone else.

Back in February, ArbiterSports (the company responsible for providing electronic services to assign officials to games) published an article in one of its blogs about the relationship between the coach and the official.  The thesis of the argument is simple:  coaches and officials need to find ways to get along since they each have the common goal of providing a great experience for the student-athletes.

The article went on to provide some tips for officials to consider on how to cultivate the relationship from their end.  Many of the tips were self-explanatory:  practice empathy, be proactive, stay calm, etc.

However, there was one point that made me raise an eyebrow...

Under the heading of discussing the tip about practicing empathy, the article goes on to describe coaches at the high school level expecting high results for the purposes of pleasing their superiors...perhaps I'm grossly over-stating it, but the idea is that results are demanded and the difference between success and failure could mean the difference between having a job and getting fired.

I might expect this as the professional level, but at the high school level?  Did I just read that right?

In my travels as an umpire, I've experienced many things, and unfortunately, this is something I've seen from time to time.  In any scenario where the athletes are amateurs, student-athletes, or simply kids having recreational fun (even when they have to try out and make the team), the idea of having to produce results so that job security is optimal for coaches shows a real problem with society.  This is even a problem at the collegiate level, but the issue with collegiate athletics goes so much farther beyond the scope of this argument that we would be here for a while.

Let's stick just with what was specifically referenced in this article.  According to this post, high school sports should be classified under the heading of the level that demands results from its athletes, specifically for the validation of the coaches and the future of their jobs.  Frankly, my response is this simple:  if any high school program is using game/championship results to specifically determine whether or not a coach/employee is worthy of keeping his/her job, that program should be removed from the face of this Earth.

High school coaches should be judged not on the win/loss record of a team, but rather on the general experiences of the members of the team.  Now, that might be easier said than done these days, especially in this litigious society where you simply cannot please everyone, and those who are not pleased may try to find some legal loophole that might be the catalyst to a ridiculous law suit, but the idea is still true.  If a team goes 3-20 on the season, but the kids have a good time, the coach shouldn't just be outright fired!  Maybe the kids were just terrible in that school!  And that is supposed to cost the coach his job?

I know it's a lot easier said than done based on the variables that come with each specific case.  But perhaps even a few administrators can consider this argument and realize that the success and failure of a team may not rely on wins and losses, but on the experience of the student-athletes.

Bob Cook is a contributor to Forbes, among other news outlets.  He submitted an editorial for their online Sports & Leisure section which was published on February 11, 2017, entitled, "Is There A Place For Trash-Talking In Youth Sports?"

In the piece, Cook compares the practices of "trash-talking" (or "chirping" as it can also be known) to what amounts to the methods of insult comics used during performances in comedy clubs.  Further, he began to opine about the loss of "good trash-talking kids" as our society moves on through time, providing reasons as to why we are failing to raise good trash-talking kids.  He cites the suggestion that parents need to stop trash-talking so that the kids can have a chance to "practice their art."

The fact that Bob Cook is a parent makes me feel sorry for his kids.

How can a grown man with any sort of conscience or sense of ethics actually endorse trash-talking, especially at the youth level?  Is he actually endorsing the idea of letting 7-year-olds hurl insults at each other so as to learn bad habits and make completely misguided decisions about priorities and what actually matters in life?  If I were a rich man, I'd probably start a trust fund to cover the co-pays his children will have while seeking therapy for the rest of their lives.

I doubt Bob Cook will ever read this entry into the blog.  But I'll take solace in the fact that I'll probably never have to come across this guy in my life and travels.

Back in February, an article and news story from the local news from Toledo summed up the plight of youth and high school athletics in a manner that couldn't be more perfect.

The thesis of the article submits that it is the parents who are the biggest culprit in destroying the institution of athletics for our youth, which is the absolute truth.  In fact, the only time this isn't the case is when you get a coach who has none of his/her children on the team he/she coaches, yet still is an absolute nightmare.

Why are the parents the problem?  It's three fold:

1. The players (who are all kids in high school or younger) are now preferring that their parents do NOT attend their games.  The parents put so much pressure on their kids that the kids no longer perform well, nor, and most importantly, do the kids have fun.  Parents think their kids must receive an athletic scholarship (as if they are owed it by God and/or society), so any call or decision that goes against the kid/team is the act of the devil.  Perhaps the parents are living vicariously through their children?
   
2. The college coaches who are scouting and recruiting high school kids to their programs are now pulling scholarship offers once they see how the parents act.  The article in question cites one Division I coach pulling a scholarship offer for a high school kid because the parents would be a cancer to the program.  If that's not the complete antithesis of what the parents want, I don't know what is.
   
3. The officials are retiring early or leaving the game in some form to escape the berating from parents that hold no merit.  It seems simplistic to say the game cannot be played without officials, but it's the truth.  Without officials, there is no game to play, and the kids lose.  To a different extent, without experienced or qualified officials, the officials assigned to the games may not be ready for certain assignments, which is just as bad as not playing due to a lack of officials.
   

The principle of this argument is very similar to that of a post we featured many moons ago when we transferred our material from our old blog.  Officials want to focus "between the lines," that is, on the playing action and not on the dugouts and stands.  When players, coaches, and fans berate officials, they take the focus of the official off the game and onto the unnecessary words and actions of people who do nothing but distract officials from doing their best job.  It seems the same principle applies to players who want to focus on the game, not their parents pressuring them.

All in all, it's real simple:  shut up.  Be nice.  Treat others how you would want to be treated.

February 2 is Groundhog's Day, and it may be a pretty dumb holiday.  In fact, there are a lot of dumb holidays on our calendar...New Year's Eve/Day comes to mind.

But February 1 is actually an even dumber day in America  It's National Signing Day.

This is the day when all the star high school football players reveal which colleges they will attend in order to further their career as a football player.  High school kids have "reveal" events that they post on social media; they have press conferences; they basically are thrown into the spotlight with a production that is about as mature as trying to figure out the most unique way to ask a girl to the prom.

Someone is going to have to explain to me why we need this in our society.

I have constantly ripped those who use the exploitation of youth sports to further their goals.  I've been critical of events like the Little League World Series and why it needs to be broadcast nationally on ESPN.  This is just another example of the unnecessary junk we broadcast...and America eats it up.

It's bad enough that we are harming our youth and forcing them into adulthood with the big reveal of where they sign their letter of intent.  Their egos have already ballooned to the size of Montana.  They miss out on some of the joys of childhood and teenage years before adulthood hits them in the face with a biggest dose of reality they've experienced.  And as a culture, we can't get enough of everything related to college sports.  We are now dipping into high school sports on a national level and watching kids who may not even be legal adults yet commit to joining the college team to which we might pledge our allegiance.

Before you know it, we will be celebrating where 8th grade kids decide to go to high school...and then we'll be celebrating 6th grade kids deciding which sports they want to play...and then we'll be celebrating toddlers as they announce which elementary school they will attend...and then we'll be analyzing the decision of parents to conceive a child...and then we'll be dissecting whether or not two people in a marriage will work...

But with all that garbage being such a strong focus, National Signing Day also has one additional unique aspect to it that creates such a false sense of reality that it's time to burst the bubble.  The kids who are destined to go to college to play football, as well as their families and friends, are encompassed in a fake reality that this one special person who is announcing his collegiate intent will be the savior they all need to escape the doldrums of the average middle-class life.  It's as if their lives were nothing at all until they found this potential celebrity they could worship and pray that he returns with millions of dollars to divide among everyone in his entourage.  Both the kid and all around him use it as a day to bask in the glory of their opportunity to show the world that it's their turn to get a moment in the sun.  The ideas of personal responsibility and controlling your own destiny have become forgotten in the wake six degrees of separation from a kid who isn't even a celebrity...yet.

No wonder our culture is so messed up.

Let's start with a disclaimer:  in New Jersey, it is forbidden to discuss matters relating to officiating high school sports on social media or any other type of Internet medium.  These issues specifically reference coaches, players, and really anything else that could come back to bite the official or the state.  Ergo, I can post something to social media asking my fellow umpire colleagues about recommendations for liability insurance for umpires, or about the proper mechanic for a certain play,  but I can't vent about how the varsity coach of a school is a mean guy.

That being said, a basketball official in Iowa has done this.  Now, he hasn't specifically named names or anything; he's in the gray zone where I wouldn't want to find myself on this issue.  And an article in the Des Moines Register has picked up on these little snippets and hailed them as worthy of being viral due to their truth.

The article was written by Aaron Young on January 24, 2017, about Rich Ripley.  Ripley has recorded his thoughts from officiating over the past five years, which may explain one of the reasons why it hasn't occurred to him that this isn't a great idea.  A five year official may not have the frame of mind to think about how this could be detrimental.  Alternatively, the state of Iowa may just not have caught up.

With all this on the table, the thoughts from Ripley are spot on.  And the truth that comes from these quotes hit home for officials.  Here are the examples shared in the article (edited for grammar, of course):

• "Let's be honest:  some players are just little [censored].  They know it.  Their teammates know it.  We know it.  Their coaches know it.  The other team certainly knows it.  Mom and Dad...not so much."
  
• "'What game are you watching?'...We're not fans, parents, classmates, or relatives.  We don't care who wins...only that the rules are upheld.  Yes...we miss some stuff."
  
• "The average official runs 2-2.5 miles every game.  Figure that most officials work two games a night and you've got middle-aged men, wearing dress slacks, running with whistles in their mouths trying to see what's going on in a pack of ten teenage players who are trying to figure out why everyone's yelling at them.  Sounds like a recipe for disaster...but it's usually fun.  Right?"
  
• "There's NO SUCH FOUL as OVER THE BACK.  Why would there be a rule about being able to jump higher than your opponent in front of you and getting a rebound?"
  
• "To the cheerleaders:  you look darling.  Stay out of my way.  I've been running two freaking miles...and #32 is a [censored].  I've got my eye on him."
  
• "To the players:  I hope that you're having fun.  I'm rooting for you."
  
• "To the coaches:  I hope that your hard work doesn't go unnoticed.  I appreciate it.  Toughest job in the community."
  

We find ourselves preaching the same thing over and over again:  the officials of any sport are human.  The best officials are working the professional leagues; as you go down in level and rank, the officiating follows it.  (That's not to say there aren't any good officials for high school contests; the probability of human error just may increase.)  These types of thoughts go through the minds of every official at all different points of their season.  They are the common problems we all face in the fraternal order of officials.

In addition to everything the officials feel and think, keep in mind that the overwhelming majority of officials do support the kids/players and their volunteer coaches.  They want everybody to have a good time.  The hard work that everybody puts in does not go unnoticed.

In fact, if there's one thing to take from all this, it should be this:  the best coaches and players are not necessarily the ones who garner the most victories, but rather who notice, understand, and accept the fact that the officials put in just as much (if not more) time, effort, and hard work as they do.