The recent tragic deaths of NHL All-Star Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew on a rural road in southern New Jersey at the hands of an apparent drunk driver have triggered an outpouring of grief from the hockey community, the sports world at large, and politicians in both the United States and Canada.  For many fans, this served as a stark reminder:  the superstar athletes we watch, support, criticize, and praise are, at their core, human beings.

Growing up in Carneys Point, New Jersey, Johnny and Matthew were giants in the South Jersey hockey scene before leaving to play at Boston College.  Following graduation, Matthew played in the minor leagues for several years before becoming a coach.  At the time of his death, he was the head coach of the hockey team at Gloucester Catholic High School, the alma mater he shared with Johnny.

While at BC, Johnny won the Hobey Baker Award, the college hockey equivalent of the Heisman Trophy, before signing with the NHL’s Calgary Flames.  Over eight seasons in Calgary, he racked up impressive individual numbers, won the Lady Byng Trophy for sportsmanship in 2017, and placed fourth in league MVP voting in 2022.   He was named an NHL All-Star in six of his eight seasons while playing for the Flames.

After the 2021-22 season and with an expiring contract, Johnny faced an important decision.  He was a highly coveted free agent, and many wondered whether he would stay in Calgary or seek a fresh start elsewhere.  In the end, Johnny took a pay cut to sign with the Columbus Blue Jackets, a move that left many fans confused, incredulous, and even angry.  Calgary Flames fans were upset that he had left for what they perceived to be an inferior team.  Despite writing a heartfelt letter of thanks to Calgary, Flames fans showered him with boos the first time he touched the puck upon his return as a visiting player.

Hockey and money weren’t the only factors influencing Johnny’s decision to leave Calgary, a place he once called his “second home.”  He and his wife agreed that Columbus, Ohio, would be a great place to raise a family.  Further, they wanted to be within driving distance of their parents and siblings (especially after Johnny and Matthew’s father, Guy, suffered a heart attack in 2018).  Like anyone else switching jobs or moving to a new city, Johnny and his wife had to figure out the best overall fit for their family.

On August 29, 2024, Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau were pronounced dead at the scene of their accident after being struck by an alleged drunk and aggressive driver while riding their bikes near their parents’ home in New Jersey.  They had returned to their old stomping grounds because they were supposed to be groomsmen for their sister’s wedding scheduled for the next day.  Tributes from around the world flooded the news and social media.  Fans of the Flames and Blue Jackets made makeshift memorials outside their respective home arenas.  People who knew the two brothers spoke of their good character, noting how they were both great teammates and friends.  Hockey fans, many of whom had chastised and mocked Johnny’s free agency decision just two years prior, came together to pay tribute to two men who, by all accounts, made everyone around them better people.  Suddenly, all the talk of free agency, career stats, wins and losses, good teams versus bad teams, etc., seemed meaningless.

Johnny left behind a wife and two children, while Matthew was set to become a father for the first time in a few months. A GoFundMe page was set up to support Matthew’s wife and their soon-to-be-born son, and it far surpassed the initial goal of $30,000.  To add to the heartbreak, Sean Monahan, Johnny’s former teammate and best friend from his days in Calgary, recently signed with the Blue Jackets largely to reunite on the ice with his friend.  Now, that reunion will never happen.

It can be easy to get caught up in the fantasy of professional sports and to see athletes as pieces of a puzzle or tradable commodities.  It’s natural to feel frustrated when a team you support fails to acquire a big-name free agent, and it’s easy to feel angry when the face of a franchise leaves for what they see as greener pastures.  But we must remember that these athletes are first and foremost people.  They’re just trying to do what’s best for themselves and their families.  Hopefully, it doesn’t take another tragedy to put this into perspective.

The way people have come together to pay tribute to two brothers has been touching.  These were great men who just happened to be great hockey players.  But while we honor the dead, let’s also be respectful of peoples’ choices while they’re living.

A recent Q&A about cycling discussed the issue of "purposefully stalling," which is a specific tactic used to force other riders to slow down and prevent them from advancing.  In short, it's not illegal by the letter of the law, but it goes against every bit of common sense and the spirit of the sport.  Think of it in the same boat as not "calling off the dogs" when the score of a baseball game gets out of hand.

It appeared that the best answer to the question of how to handle it is to simply look inside oneself and ask if it's something you might do.  It's not really very easy to stop (no pun intended) others from doing.  Perhaps it is more about hoping that karma simply catches up with those who think this behavior is acceptable to win.  Sometimes, we have look deep inside ourselves and know that we play the game the right way.  We have to rely on our inner peace and not our competitive juices to control us.  When we do that, the truth usually shines.

Of course, if you can, sometimes the best revenge is to just keep your mouth shut and get the victory yourself...legally and with class.