THE STRIKE ZONE
Sometimes Sports, Sometimes Sportsmanship
By Nadia Leunig
Secretary of the Board of Directors
I am an administrator in a small district located in Central New Jersey (yes, it does exist). One of the best suggestions I received this summer was to read The Power of a Positive Team by Jon Gordon. He discusses a myriad of team dynamics in the book that includes businesses, schools, and sports. While reading the book, I realized why I was so dissatisfied at the end of my son’s soccer season.
I never participated in sports as a child; my focus in school was Fine and Performing Arts. So imagine my surprise when my son asked me to play soccer when he was five years old. I knew absolutely nothing about the game but would do anything to support my son. I signed him up for the township’s recreational league and so began our soccer journey. After a couple of years, he was able to participate in the travel soccer program.
I learned the most about sportsmanship from that travel program. It is so easy to become one of those parents who yell at the referee about a call that was made. It was so easy to yell at our kids from the sideline to run faster and play harder. I really had to sit back and ask myself, “Am I helping my son by acting this way?” The answer was obviously no, and I had to change my mindset. As parents, we are one of the best people to show our children good sportsmanship, how to lose with grace, and how to navigate negative feelings.
Throughout the two years, I watched the team grow together. The first season was rough. We lost every single game. While some of the parents were not happy with that outcome, our coaches kept reiterating the importance of teamwork and foundational skills. We won only one game that winter, but we went undefeated that spring season. The boys even won a tournament where they were playing against a team that was many flights above them. All stakeholders in the team went into the second year with a positive outlook.
Near the end of our second year, though, I started to notice a change. At first, I did not know how to put it into words, but The Power of a Positive Team helped. There was a shift in the team's mindset: rather than being processed-focused, the team was becoming outcome-focused. There was more importance placed on individuals who wanted to win rather than the entirety of being a great team. I honestly believe this is what caused our team to fall apart. There were games lost that shouldn’t have been lost. The language that was being used toward the boys changed. I was not surprised when my son was not asked back on the team. He is a solid member of a team but is not a standout individual player.
At the end of the day, not making the team is not the end of the world. My son made another travel soccer team, and I hope we can continue to build that good sportsmanship and teamwork mentality. I wish the former team all the best and hope they can continue to grow like they want. If you are a coach and/or a parent of a youth sports team, remember that it is not about the outcome. Focus on the roots of your tree and you will see the fruit of your labor.
“No one creates success alone. We all need a team to be successful……Positivity leads to winning.” - Jon Gordon (2018)